The massage

Hello again.

As promised, I am here to tell you about my massage yesterday. If any of you have never had a "deep-tissue" massage, I am here to tell you that it was NO JOKE. It was not relaxing, although she was very very nice. I, apparently, have VERY tight muscles. My very tights muscles were, how shall we say, DISPLEASED at trying to become less tight. I have the soreness today to prove it!

When your masseuse tells you before you get "nekkid" that you are to expect "discomfort" (note the lack of the word "mild") but not pain, so please let her know what is too hard so that you don't end up with bruises, that might be a sign of what is to come.

I should also add, that when the middle of your back is tight, it makes you really ticklish when someone tries to rub on it. REALLY ticklish. She moved my arms in a different way, and that helped, but the majority of the time, it was uncomfortable.

JUST when I thought I finally had it under control, she started with my gluts. Yes, ladies and gents, that would be my BOTTOM. She took her none-too-small fists, and mashed my rump. I'm talking smooshed, and gouged, and diggin, into my ba-honkus.

So when I say that I am sore, please know, I have never been sore after a massage before. And when other masseuses would tell me to drink lots of water because the released toxins into my system, I wonder if this kind of massage released an army of militant germs that will attack me repeatedly until I beg for mercy.

If I have left you with an impression that I didn't like it, that is not in fact the case. I feel like she did accomplish her goal, of "working out the kinks". I might not honestly enjoy the means, but as the saying goes, the ends will hopefully justify those.

With that, I will sign off, and hopefully this made you laugh as much as I have writing it.

L8R taters...